The TV Pilot I Co-Starred In With Brad Pitt & That Time I Beat Brad Pitt Out For a Part: 4 stars. (F1: 3 Stars)

This week I learned something even weirder than the fact that Brad Pitt and I were once co-stars...

It’s been 35 years since I co-starred in a TV pilot with Brad Pitt, and a bit less than that since I had lunch with him at a dive in Hollywood after beating him out for a part in a movie, but I’m still not sure what to call him here.

I can’t say, ‘Brad.’ I haven’t seen him, except on screen, in decades. ‘Pitt’ feels forced. The fact is, I call him ‘Brad Pitt’, same as you do. My wife and I saw the new Brad Pitt movie. Brad Pitt reminds me of Robert Redford. And so on. But yeah, I knew him before all that. It’s a story for me. Not so much for him. You know, that time I worked with Brad Pitt. That time I got cast instead of Brad Pitt. That time that I almost had everything I ever wanted, then got the shit kicked out of me instead.

Funny thing is, until an hour ago, I never knew the whole story.

I met Brad Pitt the same day I met the President of ABC, the day I signed a seven year contract to star in a TV series.

You had to get through a lot of doors before you got cast as a regular on a TV series in 1990. First, you read for the casting director. Then you had a call back. Then, you met the show’s producer. Sometimes, there might be another audition with the director. Finally, you read in front of network executives. Maybe a hundred actors started out being up for a role, but when you read for network, it was usually down to just three or four. On the last day of auditions for my tv show, there were two other guys auditioning for the part Brad Pitt wound up playing. And there were three actors there each, for the parts Spike Alexander and Evan Mirand wound up getting.

And me. Just me. The producer knew I was the only guy for my part from the start.

When I said something to Brad about being nervous, he stared at me then said, obviously, I’d already been cast. I pretended I hadn’t but for that one moment, Brad thought Claude Knobler was going somewhere.

I thought Brad was the best guy for his role. But no, I didn’t think to myself, ‘holy shit…this guy is going to be a star.’

Actually, I did. But mostly about me, not him.

The show was called The Kids Are Alright. We had a twelve episode commitment, but, ABC decided not to pick us up. Then, we were told we might get bought by Fox.

While we were waiting for news, I auditioned for a short film. To my surprise, Brad Pitt was there. We both were up for the same part, because…we’re the same type?

I got the job. Somewhere there’s a director who cast me instead of Brad Pitt. Pray for her, if you get a moment.

After the audition, we had lunch at an old Hollywood dive called The Cat and Fiddle. We were both waiting for news, but even then, our show didn’t seem to matter to him. That unassuming confidence you see when you watch Brad Pitt on screen was already there. And I was already back to just being me.

Anyway, here’s what it’s like when you lose everything you ever wanted.

I got a call from my agent who told me the show had, indeed, gotten picked up by Fox, but that my role had been recast. Brad, Evan, Spike, and some new guy were going to be on TV, but, I’d been fired. I stayed calm. And then, after I hung up, I fell to the ground like I’d been shot.

In Matthew Perry’s autobiography, he tells how just before Friends premiered, the director took the cast to Vegas and told them to enjoy the night because it was going to be the last time they would ever not be famous. That happened when we filmed our pilot, too. The producer took us all out to dinner to talk about how our lives were going to change. He wanted us to be ready for when millions of people were watching us every week. And then, someone else got my role and I went back to auditioning for a few lines on sitcoms, so when I say that I fell to the ground like I’d been shot, understand, I’m not exaggerating.

The show got a new title: Glory Days. It didn’t last long, but soon after that, Brad became Brad Pitt, and no, that wasn’t easy.

When you’re an actor, people always ask you how you remember all those lines, but the truth is, it’s not that hard. You work at being present in every scene, and the lines become second nature, the thing your character has to say. But one day, a few years after I’d gotten fired, I got cast in a tiny role on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I had one speech with 4 lines. I rehearsed, but by then, I just couldn’t think of myself as that guy saying those things and during the taping, I forgot my lines. I dropped my head down on a cast member’s shoulder, and she gave me a hug as the studio audience groaned in pity. I recovered, said my lines correctly, and then, I knew I was done with acting.

I got cut out of that episode. Which made sense. I didn’t belong there anymore, anyway.

I moved on. I fell head over heels in love and had kids. I’d wanted to be famous more than anything in the world. But the best I could do was be a guy standing next to the guy that happened to. I became a stay at home father. When I told people at parties what I did, they said that was great and then quickly moved away. I chaperoned field trips, found the good ballet classes for my five year old daughter, and coached soccer teams. And, to my surprise, I found I was happy.

I’d always been terrified of getting the wrong kind of happiness, of being dull and unimportant, and then I found out that all happiness is good. Who knows? Maybe wisdom is just learning to take happiness in any flavor the world offers it.

I got humbled professionally. Brad Pitt has had a few humbling moments off-camera, I suppose. I don’t, for a minute, think that I won, but I don’t think I lost either. Give it enough time, and life breaks everyone in some way. The cracks, as Leonard Cohen wrote, are how the light gets in. And the light gets in most of us, whether we want it to or not.

I gave up being jealous of Brad Pitt about 25 years ago. It took a lot of time and work. But, he’s a brilliant performer and I loved watching him in F1. Still, until today, I never bothered looking up what happened to Spike, and, Evan, and, whoever it was that got my part. At first, because it was too painful. Then, because it didn’t much matter.

I should have though. I really should have looked it up.

Spike Alexander makes music. I don’t think he’s acted for a while. He was a sweet guy. I wish him well.

Evan Mirand hasn’t acted in a while either. I read once, that he and Brad Pitt stayed close. He too, was a good guy.

Brad Pitt got over losing that part in that short film to me. I’m glad.

I never learned the name of the guy who replaced me till an hour ago. Like I said, life breaks us all eventually. Why look for extra trouble? But this week, because I wanted to write this essay, I decided to find out who I’d lost out to.

Nicholas Kallsen got ‘my’ part for those six episodes. That was in 1990. I guess I always assumed that whoever had replaced me had gone on to a solid career as an actor. Turns out, he didn’t work much at all after that.

And then, ten years ago, in Thailand, he died of a drug overdose.

Sometimes, life breaks someone so badly the light can’t get in. That happens too.

I don’t know if Nicholas Kallsen was an addict or just unlucky. I hope that light found its way to Spike, and, Evan, and, yes, to Brad as well, because who really knows who’s happy and who’s not? I only know that I’m happy and, strangely grateful for all of it, the fact that I once beat out Brad Pitt for a part, and, the fact that I got fired. It took all of that for me to find my way to all of that wrong kind of happiness, the kind I dreaded. At the time, it felt like I had good luck and then bad. Now, I think it was all just luck, and I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for it all.

Turns out, the kid really was alright, after all.